Wednesday, August 12, 2009

What a difference a day makes

I actually feel a lot better today, hope it lasts for more than a day, now that's pessamistic isn't it!! So I think it is because Paul & Alicia have come over a hump and now they can begin to make some real plans for the future. Of course the loss will remain for much longer, probably never go away not really, but there is hope and like I said yesterday hope makes us hope. The bible says "a heart without hope becomes sick" sooooooo true! I think it actually says "hope deferred makes us sick " for everyone who might want to correct me, but you get the gist of it ok! Hey so that means that some things in the bible are true...interesting thought. Ha Ha! For me it is just good for me to know they can try again, that they will try again and that there is a really good chance that they will have the beautiful baby they have wanted for so long. Alicia amazes me she is willing to go back to church, to have a relationship with God, no matter how fragile and how new it will be again. She said yesterday it will take time to trust Him again, I'm with her on that one. But she is willing to start somewhere.I hope they love them there, I hope they nurture them and hold them through this. Church can be the lonliest place ever. Mostly we go to meet our friends, we shouldn't I know but we do, we go to sing, talk, share, we're supposed to go to worship and honour God. But really we go most of us anyway for the friendship factor. And if you have been for a long time and not really connected with people then that's when we hop off to some other church and we hope we make a connection there. Sad but so true. And who can blame us we all need to connect, we need to have people to share life with, and if we have the same belief system it makes it easier. Not as interesting as connecting with people with totally different views on life, family, religion etc., but safe and easy. So now I have to decide where we really should be. I love our Pasotr but we have connected with so few people in the last year an a bit, it's really difficult to say I belong there. There are a couple of people who have really shone through this and surprisingly not people who we thought would be ones to stand with us, funny isn't it how some run and some stay. So now what is next it always seems to be the question where and what next.


  1. Hi Kim....It sure is a hard road you are all on,Alica and Paul must be so thankfull for you and Adrian,you have always been a close family...I know saying this dosn't take the pain away nothing can....Your blog is straight from your that I'm sitting here crying my eyes out I think I need a wine and it's only 10am.....
    I know what you mean about church, sometimes I just want to be where no-one knows me at all and I can just hide and sit....

  2. Thanks Mandy, I know you know how we feel, unfortunately that is the sad thing about all this, too many people know what it's like to go through this kind of thing.