Tuesday, June 30, 2009

7 Days Later

So today is exactly a week since little Lucas passed away. A week it seems so much longer. Today I got up and I wasn't so miserable I could hardly get out of bed. Today for some unknown reason, it is a little easier to breathe. I guess because Alicia and Paul are still going ok, the fear is subsiding a little. The fear that it will be too much for them to bear. Somehow today the air is a little fresher and the sky is blue again. My heart still aches, but it isn't so raw today. I found a really good blog site yesterday and after reading it, I felt that someone else knew a little of what I am feeling.
Journey Through Grief (Life After The Loss Of A Child) http://missingevan.blogspot.com/
How can we know ever what another person is going through until we haved walked where they have.
I want to be so angry at God becasue he has let me down. I want to but I am tired. And it's strange I feel a kind of drawing, a kind of pull to just get alone and wait. What would I be waiting for? I'm not sure actually, but I have an expectation in me that I willknow soon.


  1. I am so very sorry for your loss......I know what you are going through, I lost my 10 year old daughter 2 1/2 years ago and not a day goes by that I don't think about her......I have three other children that I have to be here for, which can be hard some days. If you ever need any one to talk to I am always available to listen.

  2. Hey thanks,
    I thought I would just blog to get it all off my chest and just out do you know what I mean. And it has helped, I guess to just write it down, it's like talking to someone so its been good. I am sorry for your loss too! Though this isn't my own child, the pain is huge, so I can only imagine what you and my daughter and her husband have gone through. And I think you are right, I think we just get used to living with the loss, we don't really heal, we just get used to the level of pain. How depressing....I want to feel happy again really happy. Oh well so thanks for reading.