In the Pain

Through all this time, I have felt abandoned. Abandoned by God, where are you, I ask over and over. I have taken scripture and spoken it, prayed it begged it and still no answer. I've messaged people to pray for Lucas and for us and they have, still no answer. Today we heard that a decision will be made this afternoon about whether or not Lucas will be able to have a transplant. It's Sunday 21st June and Lucas will be 7 weeks old on Tuesday. His kidney's started to play up on Tues or Wednesday last week. He started to pass blood in his urine and it has kept up till now. This morning they stopped giving Lucas the medicine that makes him pee. They are thinking that maybe that medicine is effecting his kidneys. If his kidneys don't get better he can't have the transplant because he won't be able to have the medicine he'll need to have after the transplant. What a long and drawn out saga. Why is this even happening when we are supposed to have a God that is a healer. A God that can do miracles. A loving Father who cares for us. Well I'm sorry but I just can't see the care or love in all this. I feel like we, all of us, have been over looked. How can you tell me differently. Don't quote scriptures to me when you can't tell me how this is a good plan for Lucas, that gives him a future and a hope. How, why??